On Losing My Sex Scene V-Card

It’s a question most of us romance writers have asked ourselves at some point: what does it take to write a tantalizingly hot, beautifully real, believable sex scene?

Sitting down to write the first love scene for my debut romance novel SWEET NOTHING was daunting.  I wanted it to feel real, but magical. Sexy and sweet. Relatable, but aspirational too. And I was petrified that despite my best efforts, I’d get to the end of the scene and realize that my dialogue was reminiscent of a certain adult movie genre.

But as I wrote the scene, revised it, and have continued to write more love scenes, I’ve realized that I made the process more complicated than it needs to be. Here are the lessons I’ve learned about writing love scenes.

Good writing is good writing, period.

Here’s the secret—there’s nothing magic about writing a good love scene. Good writing is good writing, and good scenes are good scenes. So if your characters are human, flawed, and relatable, that will come through in all of your writing, love scenes included.  As a reader, I want to see real characters connect in a real way—what’s sexier than that? If you keep this in mind as you write every scene, your love scenes will be yummy.

It’s okay to use humor.

In real life, sex is never scripted or perfect. I think there’s something really amazing about a writer who can, in the midst of a super-hot, sweaty, entangled bodies moment, use humor. Humor can shed light on our characters’ vulnerabilities, can make a scene feel more real, or can relieve tension in the scene—all so we can build the tension again. And again. And again.

Names can be changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Good writers infuse some of themselves in every scene they write, and love scenes are no exception. Think back on your own sexiest moments—about the setting, about what you experienced physically and emotionally. Take what you can use, and work it into the scene. This doesn’t mean that your sex scenes are raunchy rewrites. It just means that you can use your own experience—whether it’s a first kiss, or a glance at a stranger across a room—to flavor your work.

Okay. I've talked for waayyyyy too long. Writers, do you have tips on writing sexy scenes? Readers, what do you look for in a love scene? Post in the comments below, or Tweet @miahenrybooks.

xo

mh